Character of the Speaker in How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)
The assertiveness of Browning’s expression of love to her husband reveals how she is almost trying to convince herself of the pureness of her relationship with her husband. Her immeasurable love for her husband tells the reader how generous she is in terms of love and devotion. She is also shown to be religious and have a moral compass such that she values purity and the good values promoted by most religions.
By using the words “freely” and “purely” Browning exposes how she uses love as a shield against depression, as it is highly unlikely that she is so naïve as to believe that her relationship with her husband is a model relationship: pure and free of conflict. Naivety and innocence are not what the apparent innocence actually is, and is instead her wanting to make herself believe in such true love in order to wash away and cover up her past troubles. Then again, the reader is not able to be absolutely certain that this is the case, creating an effect of ambiguity where the reader is unsure whether Browning is actually as innocent and naïve as her words tell the reader, or if she is forcing herself to believe that her relationship is perfect in order to keep herself away from sadness and possible depression resulting from recalling her “old griefs”. Using ambiguity here makes the reader’s image of Browning to change: where before there was probably a loving woman with pure love and devotion for her husband there is now somebody more complex, with a hint of self-doubt.
“Everyday’s most quiet need” is an example of metonymy, as “everyday” refers to all the living humans on the planet. Breathing is the most likely thing being referred to, as it is usually both quiet and essential to stay alive. “By sun and candlelight” implies that Browning’s love for her husband manifests itself in different ways, as breathing takes on different forms such as heavy breathing after exercise, silent subconscious breathing, and the notorious hyperventilation, and breathing is generally viewed as being more intense during the day then at night. Loving her husband with the “breath, smiles, tears” of my life further emphasise this, as these three words represent three important aspects of life: “breath” means the essence of her being, in other words her soul, while “smiles” and “tears” represents the ‘ups’ and ‘downs’ of life. By using these three different components of human life to describe her love for her husband she reinforces the idea that she is actively convincing herself that her relationship with her husband is perfect. It also shows something else about her character: her devotion and generosity essence of her being, in other words her soul, while “e” till believes that God has the ability to decide when she die
Generosity is usually associated with money and gifts, but Browning’s generosity is with love and devotion. Her devotion and love for her husband is shown by how she uses absolutely everything she has to love her husband, the aforementioned three components of human life. Her love for her husband is so great that when she tries to quantify it with the mathematical words “depth and breadth and height” she is unable to, as shown by how she slips into the phrase “my soul can reach” because souls are abstract and are not thought of as having a finite reach, the word “reach” meaning a person reaching out to others for love, care and help. Browning’s devotion to her husband turns into almost hero-worshipping and idolising, as her husband is the hero who saved her from her grief. This is shown by how lines 2 and 3 can be read in different ways: line 1 and the first half of line 2 together, or the two lines can be read as 2 separate sentences. Reading these two lines the first way implies that her love for her husband is endless and unbounded, while the second way suggests that her husband is her hero; when she is “feeling out of sight” of God, meaning when she is lonely and/or depressed, she is able to “reach” to her husband for comfort. Having two different implications, depending on how the lines are read, hints to the reader how fine the line is between love and worshipping. Differentiating between the two is particularly important as the entire poem is about the poet’s love for her husband and there is no love returned mentioned, suggesting that the poet knows the difference between the two but her convincing herself that their love is pure and absolute has made her more of a worshipper than a lover which, although not necessarily a bad thing, is not the same and has connotations of blindness.
The various references to God and religious aspects show clearly that Browning is very religious. Phrases such as “lost Saints” and “I love thee… childhood’s faith” suggest that her religious faith has been fading slowly over time and that she has grown distant from religion, but her love for her husband has compensated for it. This further emphasises the strength and intensity of her love for her husband; it is so great that even religious belief cannot compare to it. However, her faith in religion is not all lost and she does believe in the justice and morality of following it. Religion is shown to have taught her valuable morals and given her a good moral compass, as she recognizes the righteousness in the men who “strive for Right” and their refusal of praise. “Right” could mean both justice and human rights, the second interpretation reinforced by the word “freely”. The ambiguity here shows the reader how Browning believes that the two different meanings are in reality equivalent and by incorporating a reference to human rights movements in a poem about an ideal love she reveals her beliefs about the subject of love, a view taught through Christianity and many other religions: love your neighbour and treat them as you would want to be treated. In this way Browning has set a moral standard for herself, she wants to keep the mistreatment of others to as low a level as possible.
Although religion is important to Browning, love is shown to be thought of as superior to any faith by her, as even though she can feel “out of sight” in terms of religion she loves her husband “by sun and candlelight” and it never wanes. Also, there are hints that her love for her husband is almost a substitute for religion, as she loves him “with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints”. However, she has not lost her religious belief completely, as she still believes that God has the ability to decide when she dies.
Browning’s character, personality and beliefs are exposed in the poem and show that everything is not always as it seems and that her love for her husband is not completely ideal, not because of a fault in the relationship itself but because of how it is used to shield her from her troubles. She presents herself as a woman with strong determination; determination to love her husband as well as she can, determination to live on despite her “old griefs”, and determination to live according to standards which she sets for herself.
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